A Christmas Prince: The Royal Baby Review


What did you do this weekend? If you logged onto Mariah Carey’s Internet and your answer is not “I watched A Christmas Prince: The Royal Baby, you’ve lost rights to listening to “All I Want for Christmas Is You” and can expect coal in your stocking.

Netflix’s third installment of its cult holiday franchise demands your attention because, as hinted in the trailer, it’s pure bonkers holiday fun. This movie has everything: an ancient curse, a royal baby, a marriage proposal, and most importantly (at least to the plot anyway), a robbery.

Queen Amber and Prince Richard, who are expecting their first child, are hosting visiting royals from the distant country Penglia to renew a sacred treaty. But there’s a big problem: The original document goes missing!!! A storm hits Aldovia, suspending all roads and airplanes and trapping the thief inside the palace. And if the treaty isn’t signed by midnight, Amber and Richard’s baby will be cursed!!!

This, of course, begs the question: Who stole the sacred treaty? Here are the suspects.

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A (cursed?) baby shower gift.

Netflix

Who We’ve Ruled Out

Queen Amber

Our Queen is pregnant, dammit! She has no time to be stealing treaties. She’s too busy pushing Aldovian initatives, blogging (literally HOW the queen of an entire country is allowed to run a blog called “Amber’s Blog” is beyond me), and preparing to give birth. Queen Amber is not here to play and that perfectly coiffed lob and Duchess-like makeover mean business. Plus, she has to worry about hosting King Tai and Queen Ming of Penglia and attending her royal baby shower that looks like a cross between My Super Sweet 16 and my little cousin’s Frozen-themed birthday party. (Sidebar: Netflix really gave them a budget this time around and it shows.)

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King Richard

Somewhere between the first and the third films, Richard went from hot moody playboy prince to goofy dad. I don’t like it, but I’ll allow it for the sake of #charactergrowth. All he wants to do is build a crib, which is kind of ridiculous since he has a staff to do it for him. But seeing as the staff consists of like, three people, once again, I’ll allow it.

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Someone help him.

Netflix

Sahil

Tastemaker, event planner, and all-around icon Sahil planned Amber’s wedding in the second film and is back again for her baby shower. He also offers his services to “elevate” the treaty ceremony and calls the artifact “a bit tacky,” so he 2000 percent did not steal it. Sahil wouldn’t be caught dead with that dusty old scroll—as if! Amber defends the treaty as a “priceless work of art,” but this is coming from a girl who wears Converse with a ballgown, SO.

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Amber’s Dad

He’s been in New York (?????) this entire time so, no. It wasn’t him.

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New York City (????????)

Netflix

Prime Suspects

Simon

The scheming villain of the A Christmas Prince franchise is a little too on-the-nose if you ask me, but still a legitimate contender. Simon has a few strikes against him already: After almost stealing the throne from Richard in the first film, he slowly redeemed himself in the second film and rejoined the royal family. He’s also dating Amber’s BFF Melissa, but has a past with the Penglian’s attaché Lynn, an old college buddy. Some would say Simon is a changed man, but love can make people do crazy things.

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Tag yourself, I’m Melissa.

Netflix

Lynn

The Ambassador of Penglia is up to something sneaky with Simon and it isn’t their little college reunion. Could these two old friends team up for a heist? Or is it a love heist? Maybe both?

Queen Ming

The ruler of Penglia and Queen Amber get off to a rocky start, with Ming initially thrown off by Amber’s non-traditional ways. She’s decidedly Not Here For It when Amber suggests that the two Queens add their signatures to the treaty, which would break centuries of tradition. Ming could have stolen the treaty to preserve its sacred tradition.

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“Not on my watch.” —Queen Ming

Netflix

Wildcard Suspects

Andy

What exactly is Andy doing here? Unclear. He’s supposedly Sahil’s business partner of S & A International, providing his “managing expertise,” whatever that is. His random if not forgettable presence makes him the ideal shocker culprit.

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Sorry to this man.

Netflix

Princess Emily

Sweet innocent Princess Emily is the perfect wildcard candidate. After all, she’s the one who discovers the ancient curse that throws the palace into chaos. Is it a diversion? Amber is completely freaked out by Emily’s incessant talk about how her baby might be cursed forever, which is a genius red herring. That, or Princess Emily has no respect for her pregnant sister-in-law. I mean, poor Amber is under all kinds of stress and Emily brings up the curse at literally every chance she gets. READ THE ROOM, PRINCESS EMILY!

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Not helping AT ALL.

Netflix

Who Actually Did It

*Spoilers ahead*

And the thief is none other than…*drum roll* Mr. Little! Turns out the trusted royal aide to Amber and Richard has some family beef with the Penglians dating back centuries and stole the truce as revenge. Amber solves the mystery while in labor (!!!) and outs him in front everyone. Mr. Little, cornered by King Richard, confesses to his crime. He shows little protest to getting busted and casually walks away (???) without any kind of security escort (again, the staff consists of like, three people—actually, two now, since Mr. Little’s a thief.)

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In Conclusion

The treaty is signed at 11:59 PM (talk about meeting a deadline) and Amber gives birth to a healthy baby girl whom she names after her late mother Ellerie. The movie ends with our queen blogging (obviously) about her experience to her loyal readers.

And to that I say: Same, Amber. I, too, want to blog about it.

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Merry Christmas! Or something.

Netflix



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